“Stop and smell the roses” may be a cliché, but it is sound advice for our emotional wellness.

In our everyday lives, we often face experiences that can be overwhelming, frightening, and often beyond our control. Examples that come to mind are endless... experiencing or witnessing a moment of violence, physical or sexual abuse, bullying, a natural disaster, a serious car accident, loss of a job – these are all encounters that can lead to emotional or physical problems. The symptoms can last for a relatively short time, for months or years, or can "surface" years later.

“Reactions to an abnormal event are normal. We are human and we all have our own very unique way of coping with these events. Failing to recognize the effects of these difficult events can unconsciously weigh on you, says Dr. Denis Fortier, VP - Medical Services for Southern Health-Santé Sud. “While sharing ones feelings makes a person feel very vulnerable and is sometimes a scary thing, it is necessary to help keep us connected and heal. The power of sharing our emotions is huge. Voicing how we feel and taking a few moments to determine how these emotions affect us physically goes a long way in understanding and healing”

In time, most people get over experiences like this without needing help. For some of us however, we need and appreciate the assistance of others to help process the event in order to move forward. At times it may be enough to talk it out with family or friends. Other instances may require more professional support from a physician, counsellor, psychologist or another health provider.

Regardless of the encounter and varying depths of severity on the ‘big scale’ of possibilities, the first point to remember is to take a moment to acknowledge how you feel emotionally and physically… Too often we do not want to be too needy and make a fuss because ‘so and so’ is going through something ‘bigger’ and we do not feel worthy. Others also tend to be stoic and ‘stay strong’, wanting to support others, often avoiding or overlooking our own feelings.

Fortier says the key is to feel safe in sharing your feelings and to also make others feel safe when they come to you. It is very important following a traumatic or sensitive event to gather with others and to debrief – especially with those who have been involved.

“There are variables in any event. Perhaps you saw things others did not ... maybe your relationship with the person involved was different ... perhaps the encounter you witnessed happened to you before”, adds Fortier. “We need to respect these variables and to accept that the situation may have impacted you and others differently.”

We all have personal expectations of how we should think, feel, and behave. Remember that there is no cookie cutter approach to grieving, healing and moving forward. While it may be a longer journey for some than others, it starts with giving yourself permission to validate and process your thoughts and your feelings.

So, what are you going to do today to relax, be happy, smell the roses and take care of yourself?

Here are just a few tips to help get you started:

• Give yourself permission to take time to recover and allow yourself to feel lousy for awhile.
• Acknowledge the emotions you are feeling (sad, angry, depressed, enraged). Acknowledge where you feel it in your body (sore stomach, muscle tension, headaches) Begin to map how a certain emotion makes you feel physically. Just stay with that for 90 seconds.
• Spend time with family and friends, and keep your sense of humour.
• Physical activity is not only great for your body, it is also a really helpful tool in your self-care toolbox. Getting moving and appreciating all of the wonderful things our bodies can do for us is therapeutic, too. Going for walks, especially if you can soak up some nature, can be a powerful tool when it comes to emotional wellness.
• Take a canoe ride on the lake and watch the sun set.
• Take some time to sit by water, listen to the birds and sound of the wind ruffling in trees. Practice being present.

If you or someone you know, may need professional support from a physician or another health provider please contact your primary care provider. For more information on where to seek help visit the Mental Health page or contact our community mental health services - Call Toll Free 888-310-4593